Why You Should Get an Education

I was in West Palm Beach, Florida when I came across this ad in the local paper. It’s why kids need to stay in school.


This is screwy on so many levels.

  1. Let’s face it, this would be a shitty job. Pun totally intended.
  2. If you have a dog and you see where it poos, how hard is it to pick it up right then?
  3. You have more money than you know what to do with (or dozens of dogs) if you hire poo removal at $75 a week.
  4. Somebody is making enough money from this that they can afford a pretty big ad.

When I went on line I found a second poo removal company — also in Florida.

The reason my husband and I were in West Palm Beach was to help Laura set up a condo where her pilots can stay. She had ordered all the furniture to be delivered to the new condo and the garage at the furnished rental house was crammed with the stuff you need when you have to have a move-in ready unit complete with a fully equipped kitchen, bathrooms and bedrooms ready to sleep in. She’d rented a Ford Suburban to haul those items, including the big screen TV her pilot husband considered a necessity.

The furniture was coming from three different companies, all of whom had been advised of the condo’s rules about the documentation needed for their delivery guys to come on site. Laura’s office had contacted them again the Friday before the scheduled Tuesday delivery and all said everything was in place.

They lied.

Only one company submitted the proper documentation. The other two had hired guys without workman’s comp which was a requirement. One company unloaded their boxes in a parking lot outside the condo gates. Laura wore out her cell phone. She was able to “hire” another company’s truck and put their guys on her company’s insurance. That was about three in the afternoon. She’d been on the phone since 10 that morning.

The new condo is on the 25th floor and she only had the elevator until 4pm. By 4:15 the boxes were in the condo and two guys walked away with very happy smiles on their faces. I didn’t ask how much cash she had to give them. But if I am ever kidnapped in the middle east, she’s the one I want to come and get me.

On Wednesday and Thursday we opened boxes and put furniture together. I wondered why I had thought it necessary to wet Swiffer the empty condo before the furniture was delivered. Cardboard had to be flattened and taken to a special recycle place in the condo parking garage. Lots of boxes had Styrofoam sheets or packing pieces to protect the furniture. It all had to be broken up and bagged. In the process tiny pieces of foam attached themselves to everything, including walls and my black leggings. Thank goodness a Dustbuster was in one of those boxes from the garage.

By the end of Thursday the condo was set up except for one bed which would be put together on Saturday when Laura’s husband and the other pilot wouldn’t be flying. The kitchen was in place with post-it notes on the cabinets to let people know where things had been put. I learned that trick from my daughter when we moved into our current house. After a few days you know where things are, but at the beginning the notes mean you don’t have to open every cabinet door to find where you put the glasses.

Laura and the pilots had to be out of the rental house on Saturday but the condo had two bedrooms ready for occupancy when we left the unit on Thursday afternoon. We were going to go out to dinner but were just too tired. Leftovers from a previous night’ s carryout tasted delicious. Wine helped, too.

My husband and I flew home on Friday. I was so glad the timing worked out for us to be able to help. We needed every one of us to get the job done. It’s what friends do. When I needed to bring my husband home from Paris after his leg got smashed in the subway door, Laura was the first call I made. Best friends are there when you need them.

I saw Laura last night at our Working Writers Forum. She said everything was in place before she left on Sunday and the pilots had moved in. No poo removal needed at the condo. No dog. I asked about plants and she just shook her head. The pilots wouldn’t remember to water them.

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